Wolfy Chai

I once had a dream found within the stars. 

I kept it tucked away in the sky, untouchable to everyone else, but, I soon realized it became untouchable even to me. 

Through many seasons of yearning, the stars moved across the sky. 

Little did I know, the stars I kept hope for had been long destroyed. 

My dreams got scattered across the universe. 

The sparks, no longer bright enough to catch the attention of any of the Gods. 

Time never held a promise to have it granted. 

I did have dreams once… I kept my head to the sky… 

But, their fulfillment was never in my cards. 

I saw many around me get what they wished for. 

They were showered with luck, having picked the right stars, whereas I was showered only with acrid rain. 

Still, I went out and surrendered to my fate with open arms. 

I laid down in the rain, allowing it to burn my scars and scrapes until I was permanently branded by its scorching stings. 

I liked the pain.

I knew it wasn’t what I deserved, but it was the only thing I could feel. 

Due of its familiarity, I let the stings sizzle, and ruminate. 

Running over cells I long thought I lost, a reminder that I was still in fact here, whether I liked it or not. 

And, deep down I still had the seeds of a dream.

I still had small harbors of hope, even though I knew they would never come true. 

Life wasn’t a big happy ending, not for me. 

The sharp gates separating me from any possibility of joy, punctured my lungs every time I tried to climb over. 

My hands, froze off every time I grabbed onto the cold iron bars that kept everything I had always wanted just out of reach.

The frustration flooded into my pen, which seemed to paddle with the paper as I scribbled down my thoughts, torturing me even further. 

I knew writing was a futile attempt to pound my way free. 

Merely a light tap, practically mute to any semblance of a savior. 

And so… I resorted to laying down on the floor, staring once again at the open sky, which felt even further away than before. But this time, without a single spark left, all those ships have set sail, leaving me with an empty harbor.

The winter winds caved in around me, viciously, unabated by any boats that used to keep them away.

My eyes became empty long before the last remnants of my soul departed, just as the star I used to hold so much hope for had died long before its departure from the night sky. 

I sometimes wonder if like the stars, even if only posing as an empty shell, an echo of my former brilliance, I’d still shine tonight.