Wolfy Chai

I want to know if it is okay.
My efforts are not missing.
My intentions—given weight.
 
What I know is the best I can do.
There is nothing more I would wish for than the best for you.
To know exactly how to be and how to show up.
To know exactly what is needed,
it's the thing I keep dreaming.
 
But I know I must learn wisdom first
I must learn how to see.
See only things that help—not bleed.
 
I hurt inside when this cycle comes back around.
Each time I pitch, I feel like I miss.
The ball comes back, hitting me like a brick.
 
Still, I try even when I don’t know why.
I just want to have value.
Value that is seen.
Value that is cherished.
Value being me.
 
I know I cause harm.
I desperately try to repair the damage.
It sucks that more of it happens when I try giving you a bandage.
 
It seems that distant is where I will be.
Never held close.
Never properly believed.
Stuck in the cold. Unloved and old.
 
Please just give me a little relief.
I need a hand.
I need a hand.
I need your hand.
 
I can’t promise much besides my own.
But I will never give up so long as my body has this soul.