Wolfy Chai

“Get out of my way” “shut up” “oh, he can joke!” “Hi,” in a mocking voice. Translation -> I only care about me. You are an inconvenience. You are a nuisance. It would be more convenient for me if you weren’t here. You must not infringe upon MY personal property. It is MINE! I deserve it! I worked hard! I earned it! You are over there and I am over HERE. Frankly; I don’t really care. Everyone struggles; everyone goes through hard times. 

Not feeling welcomed is one of the hardest emotions to swallow in the human experience. You hear it and see it in very overt ways while sometimes, it slips into the tone of voice or the subtext. Either way, feeling unwelcomed is heard loud and clear. This force field of intolerance is cast by one thing, and one thing only—self-grasping. When you feel it hit you, know that it is others thinking only about themselves that is generating it.  

Selfishness does not have much power at its core. It may be despicable, but it is also emaciated and weak. It requires constant self-focus in order to sustain itself. With the focus on oneself locked in, people in the zone of danger are incidental, nuisances, or inconvenient obstacles, things to navigate around. 

There are only two types of orientations people seem to possess: “it is all about me” or “it is about all of us.” People might possess each to varying degrees and in different circumstances. In the end, the root of the evil is the same. It is a force that seeks to separate, categorize, quantify, divide. It is a force that obsessively calibrates objects in the surrounding to determine how much they are worth and whether they are of any use to themselves. In other words, they attempt to exert dominion of other people and sentient beings. 

This manifests physically in many ways and applies to MOST people not just narcistic people. It exists when people trample over delicate spring boils, kill weeds with toxic herbicides, rape the flowers of their blossoms, corner or harass an animal to extract temporary entertainment value and toss them when they no longer are exciting or novel. It is the inner selfish drive that seeks to gain more and more from its surroundings. The world is their oyster, an orchestra they conduct however they see fit. 

There is a fine line between selfishness and “individuality.” Similarly, there is a line between individuality and “freedom.” According to most people’s definitions, individuality is often equated with selfishness. It is the voice that tells you that you should do what you love to do even if it harms others. It is the voice that reminds you of how miserable you are and how you need to grasp for more. However, alternatively, individuality can mean simply that you are a being amongst many beings and have the choice to either allow others to thrive or you funnel all the oxygen in the room to yourself. Most people might see freedom as a natural biproduct of selfishness. But how can we be free when it depends on the suppression of others? We can’t, is the short answer. We do however have the freedom to make other people’s lives easier when afforded the opportunity. We have the freedom to use our privileges to help the less fortunate. 

These are the primary philosophies and ways of seeing things that shapes which path a person might end up walking. Even a slight peppering of self-grasping can turn well-formed, healthy roots into rotten, withering, woody, thorny, roots. It is a poison that travels into the body and gets projected onto faces, words, actions and voices. People can feel it. They can feel when they are not welcomed somewhere or someone wants to eliminate them. In the flash, people can go from nice and accommodating to vicious, bitter, and resentful if you dare make them experience any discomfort.   

At its core, the selfish orientation is one that constructs an entirely false reality based on their dominance, control, and opinions. It provides a fertile terrarium for expectations, demands, and entitlements to mature. However, in actual reality, NO ONE is entitled to anything—hard stop. NOTHING. Entitlement always comes with a need to control. Control something that is not going according to “plan” or something that introduces discomfort. 

So, there is no need to feel erased or unwelcomed when the version of reality you are unwelcomed or erased from is not one you would want to be in. Not only that, but it is also not one that ever has existed nor ever will exist. If you try to squeeze or flatten yourself to fit in it, you won’t ever succeed. Only a one-dimensional cartoon of yourself exists there, held in purgatory by those seeking to oppress you. It is something that benefits the other person when you provide them with an advantage but shoves you out of the way the second you become unnecessary. True reality exists jointly. No one can expect anything out of it but for it to continue to change indefinitely. No one can get anything out of it, except complete acceptance and love.